An unforeseen benefit to having a son.

As I have mentioned multiple times before, I do not like spiders. They are gross and creepy and generally all-around-bad. I mean, they do have their good points like they eat other bugs and *spoiler alert* turn Peter Parker into Spiderman and save pigs from being eaten (although I can't guarantee those were both done by the same spider).

But really, I'd just rather not have them around.

I know some people who are more humane than I am and will rescue spiders they find indoors and transfer them outside on a piece of paper or in a cup or something so they can live a free-range spidey life. And that's cool if they want to do that. I do that with grasshoppers my cats drag in to play with, and with bees that get in the house if I can catch them.

But spiders? I have put them on notice many times before—if they come into my house their eight-legged lives are forfeit.

For me, a major perk of getting married was having someone to kill my spiders for me. Don't get me wrong, I can and will kill spiders on my own if I have to (the summer Shallow Man was out of the country for an internship featured several harrowing run-ins with large arachnids, which I feel like I've blogged about before). I am adept at the shoe swat, the stomp, and the turn-the-shower-on-and-wash-the-spider-out methods. I just would prefer, if someone else is around who can do it for me, not to have to get close enough to the spider to actually kill it.

I also figured that, as the mom, I would have to be the designated spider slayer for years to come while dad's at work because the kids wouldn't want to kill spiders (GROSS!). So I've been reluctantly resigning myself to the role of spider killer, and have even whacked one or two when my husband's at home so he knows I'm not a complete wimp (remind me to tell you sometime about the times when the spider I wanted him to kill turned out to really be as big as I said it was, rendering his rolling of the eyes totally unjustified).

So this afternoon I got back from an errand and had taken off my jacket and shoes. The Little Guy was standing up by the TV stand waiting for me to get his jacket and shoes, and just as I reached for his coat zipper, I saw a spider running on the floor. I turned to put one of my shoes back on so I could stomp it, but the Little Guy took one look at that spider, gave me a glance that clearly said, "No worries, Mom; I've got this covered," and he and his sneakers proceeded to stomp the living daylights out of that trespassing arachnid.

Wow. If I'd realized this was one of the perks of having a little boy, I'd've done it *years* ago. (Oh wait. Never mind. We tried.)

And now I dream of the day when I can just relax in a lounge chair and sip a fruity drink as my army of little boys stomps away all my spider-related woes. That's not too much to ask for, right?



Maybe I should've named him Samwise the Brave. . . .

Insert contented sigh here.

How I spent Black Friday:

*Slept in (thanks, Little Guy, for helping out with that).

*Ate leftover pie for breakfast.

*Stayed in my jammies until 11:00 a.m.

*Watched Psych.

*Ate leftover turkey and more pie.

*Read.

*Took a nap.

*Snuggled with my baby.

*Had a movie night with good friends.

*Did a wee bit of shopping online without having to deal with crowds or the cold.

And that is how Black Friday should be done.



Day 26 down. Nearly done!

And now, an even bigger surprise.

I don't have time (or energy) for a full post right now, but just wanted to let you all know that our little guy decided to make an early entrance (or it was decided for him after my blood pressure was dangerously high at my 36-week checkup). He arrived at 6:30 p.m. on Saturday night via c-section and is, quite simply, perfect. No complications for baby or for me so far. I'll share the full story later, but for now, here are my 1000 words:


Yeah, you just WISH your toes were that cute. :)

Oh, boy.

Yep, it's a boy! We're surprised but thrilled, and have NO IDEA what to call this kid. (Yeah, we thought he was a girl. Huh.)

I've posted a fuller version of the story on the other blog, so feel free to stop on over.

We've got pictures, but haven't scanned them yet. (And really, one of them is highly inappropriate. Someone needs to teach this kid the importance of modesty.)


And in the meantime, really, who voted for lizard? I know Shallow Man has mutant genes (seriously, his sixth-grade biology teacher pointed out his mutant webbed toes to the rest of the class) but, really now.

Is there a doctor in the house?

No, there is not a doctor in the house.

Because actually, there are now TWO doctors in the house.

That's right. Shallow Man and I have both officially graduated from law school and are the proud owners of shiny new initials after our names: J.D. Juris Doctor. (Dr. Scritchy, I presume?)

Yeah, except nobody really calls lawyers "Dr." Except right after convocation while we're all still giddy and saying "Wahoo!"

But still. Those initials are still there. And even though a juris doctor is the red-headed stepchild of the doctorate degree family, I still technically am a doctor.

Wahoo!



P.S. Also, in even-bigger-wahoo-type-news, today was the first day in longer than I care to count that I haven't had to take any anti-nausea medication. Figures that the morning sickness would ease up right as soon as I have no classes to miss. :) I've only been in the second trimester for about three days and I'm loving it already.

So long, 2009!

So I've been looking back at 2009 and I just can't quite muster up the same feelings of AWESOME as I did for 2008. Which is probably because 2008 was pretty darn awesome and it would probably be hard to beat by just about any year's standards. But I think it also has a bit to do with the fact that, in many respects, 2009 was just not that great. It did have some good points, but the overall backdrop for my personal year (see, e.g. the economy) helped lend a sense of doom and foreboding to the year. And I don't think it was just me.

But here are some of the things that come to mind when I think about 2009:

*Finishing up my second year of law school.
*Starting up my third year of law school and seeing the end approaching quickly.
*Geek nights galore. We have seen this thing grow from an impromptu game of Duck Hunt to a massive behemoth of multiple systems, games, tons of people, lots of good food, and networking galore.
*Making a very successful pitch to the CEO, CFO and other higher-ups of World Book, Inc.
*Helping to pull a publishing company out of the "some guy working out of the garage" mode to a more stable level. We've moved from the garage to the basement, I guess you could say, but we also have not only a consistent stream of projects each month, we've also got a cushion of projects that are already done so we're ahead of the game.
*Combining my publishing company experiences with Geek Night experiences and being able to hire several of my friends.
*Editing essays. Oh, the essays I've edited. . . .
*Trip to Alabama to visit Shallow Man's family. Love his grandparents.
*Having Shallow Man's sister drop our camera on the hard tile floor and breaking it as we were about to leave. We still haven't bothered to get it fixed, come to think of it.
*This is partly due to the fact that I have continued trying to maintain my Lemony Snicket-type existence, keeping photos to a minimum.
*SPENT and the epic-ness that was the Katamari presentation. Also the battle of the chairs and a return to junior high drama. (Good times, good times.)
*Taking a class from one of the most inspiring and all-around awesome people I ever hope to know, Michael Goldsmith.
*Getting a chance to sass back at Prof. Goldsmith and watch him enjoy it and play along.
*Yeah, I also got a pretty good one-liner off in Business Associations. (Hey, I told you the year wasn't great; I have to take what small pleasures I can get here!)
*Continuing to get to know the awesome people in my law school class. (But not the 2Ls. They are not awesome. Except for a few.)
*Getting a chance to finally read To Kill A Mockingbird for a class.
*Getting to write a paper about TKAM, A Man For All Seasons and Alice in Wonderland, of all things.
*Footnotes. Beautiful, beautiful footnotes. Lengthy, beautiful non sequiturs in footnotes.
*Trying to finish a paper while sitting in my car in the early morning waiting for the gas company to arrive because the carbon monoxide alarm had gone off and thinking we had a leak.
*Oh, the chagrin of realizing that it was just an "Lb" for "low battery" and not a "97" for "that's a lot of toxic gas floating around in your house", which we probably would have realized a lot earlier if we hadn't been so dang sleep-deprived from finals at the time.
*Ice cream after finals.
*Our fifth anniversary. (Holy crap!)
*Finally finding a great doctor who listened to ME and not to the sound of his own voice.
*Getting that positive pregnancy test back in May. Very high point of the year.
*Making lists and plans for the baby.
*Seeing my mother's face (and the faces of the rest of my family) when we told them the good news. They probably had already figured it out, anyway, though, because of the sheer number of times I had to use the bathroom during that camping trip.
*KAT CAME BACK!!!
*Just Jane. I think you girls saved my sanity this year, in so many ways.
*Being an orphan in June when Shallow Man was in DC and all of my other family members were on fun vacations without me.
*Helping to clean out my grandfather's house when he moved into my aunt's house, and seeing the family gathering spot for as long as I can remember all out of sorts and empty. Then seeing it again later after it had been remodeled and loving the new changes, and thinking that it's good that life still goes on.
*Working from home periodically through the first part of the summer when I was feeling sick.
*Seeing that motorcycle accident with the car who made the illegal u-turn over by Riverwoods with KEY and Shallow Man. Crazy.
*Sitting in the doctor's office while he tried to find the heartbeat with the doppler. Sitting downstairs while he tried to find the heartbeat on the ultrasound. Sitting in the hospital waiting for the grouchy ultrasound technician to get around to telling us the results and praying that it wouldn't be what we already knew it would be.
*The worst four hours of my life on July 16th.
*Love and support from family and friends and God.
*The other blog.
*Weddings for my cousins.
*Henry Crawford, Henry Crawford, and Henry Crawford. Did I mention Henry Crawford?
*Driving on back roads for the first few days of August because we hadn't been able to get our car repaired for inspection before July ended.
*Babysitting my nephew and taking him to church while my sister was in the hospital having my new niece.
*New niece = very yes.
*SYTYCD in the summer with KEY and my sis.
*Getting a new nephew, too.
*Baby blessings and almost having to leave my niece's because you just never know when suddenly something is going to be too much. But making it through anyway with only Shallow Man and the four-year-old sitting in front of us really noticing anything.
*Just Jane again. Did I mention you girls are amazing?
*Firing people but finally getting a working staff.
*That horrible, horrible FSU game.
*Discovering the Art City Trolley.
*Game day at the cabin at last.
*Swine flu. Very No.
*Playstation 3, yo. It has changed my life.
*Actually passing the MPRE after not getting enough time to study for it. And kind of rocking it. (Why can't I do that with finals?)
*The primary kids. And the parties. And nearly going insane some weeks.
*Going to see Ingrid Michaelson in October with Kat and KEY. Epic.
*Pink plaid shoes. Oh yes.
*SYTYCD concert with Kat and my sisters. Epic, epic, epic.
*The impromptu dance party with all those other cars stuck at that malfunctioning light.
*The passing of two great men in November within two days of each other: My grandfather and Prof. Goldsmith. A week of funerals and tears, that one, and of good reunions with friends and family. Bittersweet to say the least.
*Fixing the oven door that had been broken ALL BY MYSELF.
*Seeing "Singin' in the Rain" at Hale, even though I had a headache afterwards.
*Working at the same place as Shallow Man and how interesting that's been.
*Billy the bookcase says hello.
*Thanksgiving with my entire family -- so much fun.
*Finishing my Christmas shopping early because I actually knew, for once, what I wanted to get for Shallow Man weeks in advance, and I still managed to surprise him a little bit.
*ROCK BAND. And Lego Rock Band.
*Finishing a 20-page paper in less than 24 hours.
*Having major scares at Stake Conference.
*Baby, our car, finally breaking down. Borrowing Bertha from my cousin. (Thanks again!)
*The adventure to Temple Square and breaking Kat's screen.
*Getting surprised on Christmas with an iPod touch.
*Getting released from Primary without 1) asking for it, 2) moving out of the ward, 3) having a baby or 4) getting a new calling. I still think this might be unprecedented in our ward.
*Extreme Jenga.
*An amazing New Year's Eve party.

This, of course, is in addition to all the late nights with the Smiths, hanging out with other good friends, long conversations with KEY, getting my Kat back, hiring all my friends, great movies and good fun (I especially enjoyed "Up" and "Star Trek") and good books (mostly re-reads, though). So, all in all, not a horrible year, even though I've had better.

Now let's just hope that 2010 can beat its predecessor. I'm looking forward to it.


I'm sure I've forgotten a lot of things here. Just know that if I haven't mentioned something it doesn't necessarily mean I didn't enjoy it. I probably did, in point of fact, but my brain, while it holds an amazing number of things, still does not do everything.

An update, because I promised.

Well, I refused to take any guff from that take-home final.

I gave my final project what-for.

And I took my final paper out into the back field and beat it severely, like that scene with the printer in Office Space.

Yeah, this is what I did to my finals:



And now they're dead done. And I slept in today until 1:00 and I'm writing this in my pajamas and I'M NOT SORRY. In fact, this is the best I've felt since school started in August. So join me in a great sigh of contentment: *ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.*


And now, less than a week before Christmas, I finally have time to put up the tree. I'm looking forward to next December when I will actually be able to start the Christmas festivities at the beginning of the month, rather than three weeks in.

Wow.

There are no words. Just watch.

A year of AWESOME!

Once again I can't believe that it's almost the end of the year. Which makes me think back over the year and what I've done. Which mostly adds up to a whole lotta law reading, which I don't feel accurately encompasses the spirit of the year, which was, overall, awesome, and full of awesome things. Here, in no particular order, are several of the awesome things I discovered and/or did this year:

*Geek-out night. Wow. As many as 11 people, three TVs, two couches, one giant LoveSac, five game systems, tons of controllers and many many nerdular games all packed into our living/dining room. Best. Idea. Ever.
*Katamari. And again I say, Katamari. When I tell you that, with all the above paraphernalia available, most of the time we all just sat around watching in fascination as someone played Katamari, you'll begin to understand the sheer awesomeness thereof.
*The fact that we went out and got a PS2 within a few days after the first Geek-out night just so we could play Katamari.
*Duck Hunt. Yeah, I'd never played it before. Which is how Geek-out night got started.
*The Smiths. I can't believe we spent so much time in the same ward, not to mention all the law classes with Maret, before we all realized that we should be spending more time together.
*The Newells. See the above comment except for the part about being in the same ward.
*Also the Shills. Even though we already sort of knew you before.
*Arrested Development. Thanks, the Smiths. You have truly enriched our lives.
*Gilmore Girls. I can't believe I hadn't watched this show before -- I never knew just what a barren wasteland my life was until I was introduced to them in September by the amazing KEY.
*KEY. Wow. We're the same person. See above re: barren wasteland.
*The accordion player at Ottavio's.
*As always, Facebook.
*Many blogs, but especially Cake Wrecks and Seriously, So Blessed.
*Skype.
*Wall-E, The Dark Knight, Iron Man, and many other pretty cool movies I saw.
*Sitting outside at late-thirty with Kat, my cousins, and assorted sisters for the Breaking Dawn release. Yes; yes, I am a nerd.
*Kansas. Okay, not really as awesome as I might have hoped. But throw in Oklahoma, the wedding of Margo, her awesome family and also awesome now-husband, plus many, many, many hours of Kat-time = tres awesome. As in, three. Or very. (Yeah, I can speak a couple of extra languages. Can't you?)
*Cleanth and Trilling.
*Leopard. Ahhhh.
*Rooming with Ameeanne while Shallow Man was out of the country.
*So You Think You Can Dance: Season four.
*So You Think You Can Dance: The TOUR! See commentary above under Breaking Dawn. (I am approximately 13 years old. But at least I don't think Stephenie Meyer deserves a Nobel Literature prize, right?)
*Speaking of which, an increased familiarity with the Nobel Literature Laureates. And their photos. Seriously awesome. (Watch out for Lagerkvist-less Pars.)
*The Dutiful Existentialists.
*Campfires in Provo Canyon with the Hardmans.
*Redoing the backyard. And actually having flowers. And actually having said flowers live and bloom and FLOWER until the frost came and killed them all.
*Muse. Thank you, Kat, for your invaluable assistance in selecting some great CDs.
*Ingrid Michaelson. Thank you, KEY, for your invaluable assistance in selecting a great CD.
*IKEA. Several times.
*Three crazy primary kids. Class was many things, but never boring.
*The Best Day EVER.
*Professor Wood and his Muslim hat. Also his French and German hats and, occasionally, his Common Law hat. Even if he only brought his second- or third-rate mind in with them to show to the third- and fourth-rate minds in the class.
*Peach Pie ice cream.
*Peach Pie accompanied by ice cream.
*Interviewing in jeans.
*Trademark and patent law. Mostly this is awesome when you take into account the fact that I was an English major.
*Bocci with cats.
*Watching the two nephews get bigger and cuter and laugh/chortle a whole lot more.
*Smithsonian magazine. The problem is that now I have a whole lot of organizations sending me address labels with vaguely threatening (or at least calculated-to-induce-guilt) statements: "As you use these labels, think of the poor starving legless children in Ydgosriztsilaviastan and HOW THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE MONEY FOR ENVELOPES SO YOU NEED TO SEND THEM MONEY IN AN ENVELOPE WITH ONE OF THESE ADDRESS LABELS NOOOOOOWWWWW OR YOU WILL BURN!!!!! Because only a truly selfish person would use these address labels for non-money-containing post not destined for the poor starving legless children in Ydgosriztsilaviastan."
*Miter boxes. If that's how you spell that.
*Peru. Wait, no. I didn't do that one. But I did do Park City, which has to count for something, right?
*Chalice. Beautiful.
*Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog.
*Anything prepared by any member of the Smith household.
*Also stuffed mushrooms a la Newell.
*"YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" (Which, really, why were we the only ones who took the '80s part of it seriously?)
*The fact that I can, in fact, hold down two jobs, several classes, a Primary class, and a newly-found Arrested Development/Gilmore Girls/Katamari addiction at the same time and still get at least 6 hours of sleep a night, and sometimes more.
*Rich, Tess, and Jake. Also Dexter and Chris. And even Calla. And a few others I won't mention by name, but they know who they are.
*Tiffany's. (Thanks again, hon!)
*My new haircut.
*The Christmas tree skirt.
*My blog readership appears to have increased to maybe even as many as 11.
*A quarter of a century. Makes a girl think.

And last but not least, Keepon. Keep on dancing, little guy. You inspire us all.

Here's hoping your 2008 was also awesome. I can't wait to see how 2009 tops it (although Wicked tickets certainly aren't going to hurt -- thanks again, Liz; also an upcoming 5-year anniversary).

Much love to you all, and a very Happy New Year!


If for some reason you are an awesome person and I know you and didn't mention you on the list, I apologize. You are hereby included in this residuary clause.

Aren't you glad you know someone so awesome?

They wanted to use my real name but I insisted on maintaining my anonymity. I think it adds to my mystique.

Now, if you can still manage to sing that song, I'll be impressed.


In other news, I am now officially halfway done with law school. Wahoo!

HALLELUJAH! (insert full Handel choir here)

The AC is working again.

And it wasn't the compressor.

It was the cheap option.

Sing with me now.

Hallelujah!

Finals are OVER!!!; or, Dancing Robot Posse: collect them all!

Yes, my friends and colleagues, finals are over. I am officially a 2L in law school. And I'm not dead. Or even severely mentally damaged. (Minorly mentally damaged, yes, but what can you do?)

So in this spirit of jubilation and fluffiness and sweetness, I now present to you (for anyone who may be keeping track):

What I Want for Christmas.

Squeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

I won I won I won! Robin McKinley liked my poem and I WON!!!! Robin McKinley liked my poem and I won an AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF DRAGONHAVEN JUST FOR ME BECAUSE SHE LIKED MY POEM!!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Check it out check it out check it out! Right here. (Mine is the one by "Ellie.")

Squeeeee!!!!!!


P.S. I also have a great, squee-inducing Valentine's day story, too, but I'm waiting until I get the pictures to post it here. Stay tuned for more details.

P.P.S. But in the meantime.... Squeeee!!!

FREEDOM!

Today is the best day ever. Well, the best day I've had for a long time.

As of today, my job is officially "my old job."

Never have to go back.

Or see the CHB* ever again.

Yes, this is a good, good day.

:)


*Curly-haired boss; closely related to the PHB.