Friday, August 25, 2006

Happy, happy

Happy Birthday to the Shallow Man!

Love you, honey!


I feel a bit better about this whole thing now.

This statement was released by Disney's Seven Dwarves today in response to Pluto's demotion:

"Although we think it's Dopey that Pluto has been downgraded to a dwarf planet, which has made some people Grumpy and others just Sleepy, we are not Bashful in saying we would be Happy if Disney's Pluto would join us as an eighth dwarf. We think this is just what the Doc ordered and is nothing to Sneeze at."

At least someone is sticking up for the underdog.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I was rooting for you, Pluto!

Astronomers, man. Weird people.

Always doing crazy things, those astronomers are. When they're not moving in and trying to steal each others' observatories and fending each other off with microscopes, they're messing with the solar system.

I mean, for heaven's sake. My very energetic mother just served us nine? Don't leave us hanging like that! I mean, it was bad enough when we were potentially talking about how my very energetic mother couldn't just slice up nine pizzas, comely xenophobe. Of course, we weren't even sure that would work because nobody could make a definite decision on whether the series would end in "X" for "Xena" or "U" for "2003 UB313." (Huh. Speaking of dumb planet names...)

So the crazy astronomers took the lazy way out. Rather than persevere until an answer to the X/U debate could be found, they just cut corners... and cut Pluto.

Why couldn't they just leave my very energetic mother and her pizzas alone? All we wanted to do was have dinner as a family. Who cares if maybe you have two or three friends over now and then? Just because you don't want to let Ceres, Charon and...whatshisname live in the house doesn't mean you have to kick out little brother Pluto. There were nine in the system and the astronomers said, "Roll over, roll over!" So they all rolled over and Pluto fell out...

I mean, we haven't even known about Pluto for a full day of Pluto time. I suppose this means Pluto's fifteen Pluto minutes of fame are over. Just goes to show you how fleeting celebrity is these days. Poor little guy.

Apparently, for crazy astronomers at least, size does matter.


RIP Pluto: 1930-2006

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Crying while thinking of Margo

So it's grovelling season on PBS. This makes watching TV (the PBS variety, that is) rather tiresome and trying because they keep interrupting it every five or six minutes, trying to make me buy a CD for $60.00. I don't know how dumb they think I am, but I'm still pretty sure that CD's don't cost that much. So, like the spamalope, I remain calm but wary, and try not to be too distracted.

Because I just can't help watching PBS during the Grovel-a-thon, because that's when they trot out the fun stuff. You know, the stuff you'll sit through the CD spiels for.

Victor Borge just seatbelted himself to the piano bench after telling the audience about his deal with the soprano: "She doesn't touch my piano; I keep my hands off her coloratura." Which makes me, in a roundabout way, think of my amazing friend and roommate Margo. (No, not the coloratura part.)

Margo and I could have used a seatbelt for that one chopsticks duet she patiently tried to teach me. I like to think I faked my way through it well enough to not embarrass myself too badly. (My piano skeelz are adequate but definitely pale next to those of My Margot.) Of course, that would have made switching places mid-scale kind of hard, but I like to think we could've worked our way through that one, too, if it came to that. It made me even more excited to do the duet thingy five the talent show twonce I saw that it was dedicnined three Victor Borge.

Few things make me laugh as hard as I do at Borge's inflationary language (see above; and you thought it was only gas prices that were going up!), unless it's his phonetic punctuation, which really can't be done on a blog.

Of course, I doubt I could even really type it anyway, since I'm now laughing so hard that I'm crying and can't really see the keyboard. The tears are streaming down my face and I only wish Margo were here with me, so she could laugh and cry, too.

Margo - it's coming up on four years that we've known each other, and I can't believe it's only been that long. Love you always and miss you bunches, and hope we find a good excuse to be in the same state at the same time before too many more years go by.

Monday, August 07, 2006


This afternoon I had a chance to relax a bit after a very stressful day at work (and my boss is on vacation, even...) and unwind with three of the greatest inventions known to man (or woman, as the case may is):

1. Thunderstorms
2. Cherry Chocolate Cake
3. Spongebob Squarepants Michael Buble

The only* things that can top that are Jane and a foot massage.

(Shallow Man, are you taking notes?)

*Assuming that snuggles with the hubby are not on the menu