Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Scientific Progress...

So. I have this husband, see. And he likes gadgets. Usually gadgets related to either cameras (a toss-up between Nikon and Cannon) or Apple.

About a year and a half ago I got a new laptop. My DH persuaded me to go the Apple route, which meant that we also got a rebate for a free iPod at the same time. My husband got a regular iPod and I chose the blue Mini, which has to be one of the cuter gadgets I've seen out there. My husband's iPod subsequently goes kaput, meaning that he has now "inherited" my Mini. I have limited visitation rights on weekends.

A couple of weeks ago, Shallow Man came home from class with that "Please don't hurt me for my stupid mistakes" look on his face. I asked him what was wrong.

"Well, I have good news and I have bad news," he said. "The good news is, your iPod still works just fine. The bad news..."

At this point he pulled my iPod out of his backpack and showed me the damage. I don't know how well you can tell from the picture (my husband would say it's the fault of our camera and we need a much nicer one; nice try, hon), but it is no longer the sleek cute blue thing that it once was. It now has scratches and dings all over the place, not to mention a couple of healthy-sized dents in it.

I stared at it, shocked. "What happened? It's not cute anymore!" (Note: My liking for gadgets is pretty much strictly aesthetic in nature -- if it's cute, it's good. If it's ugly, I'm not that interested. It doesn't matter so much what it actually does.)

"But it works still!" He gives me a hopeful grin.

"What did you DO to it?"

Well, it's like this. Shallow Man's story (and he's sticking to it) is that while he was walking along, listening to happy tunes, his hand caught the earphone cord. This pulled the iPod out of his pocket and launched it into the street, where it was promptly run over by a car. (I think he said it was a Nissan, but I wasn't paying attention at that point.) He ran out and grabbed it, thinking, "She's going to kill me," and noticed that not only is it still on, but it's still playing happy tunes -- it didn't even skip a beat.

Now, as happy as I am to see that all is well in Apple-land and they've managed to break the car barrier, I am still rather upset that my cute iPod is now decidedly beat up and non-cute. (Yes, yes, yes, I am shallow in that respect.)

Here's what I think REALLY happened:

Scene: A sidewalk in Provo. Shallow Man is walking down the street, listening to happy tunes. He stops suddenly as a look of ponderment crosses his face. We hear his thoughts as he contemplates the iPod.

SM: Hmm. I know their laptops are nice and durable (note from me: they are. We accidentally dropped one once and it still works fine. It's still cute, too). I wonder how the iPods hold up? For example, what would happen if it got run over by a car?

A look of diabolical cunning crosses his face. He smiles a nasty smile.

SM: This isn't MY iPod, after all...

He runs into the middle of the street, pausing to look both ways -- he may be scheming diabolically, but safety always comes first! -- and drops the iPod on the road. He retreats to the safety of the sidewalk to await results. An incoming Nissan Altima sees the iPod in the road and accelerates directly towards it.

NISSAN ALTIMA: Vrooooommmmmm!

DRIVER: Yeee-hawwwww!

iPOD: Crunch!

SM: A direct hit! Scientific progress moves forward once again!!!

Once again looking both ways, he does a celebratory dance out into the street and picks up the iPod.

SM: (examining iPod carefully) Good thing it's still working. Otherwise I would have to walk home sans happy tunage.


Totally not Scott said...

For the record:

It was a black Ford Escort. 4 door. So there.

Also, by "we" dropping the laptop, I think the author of the above post means SHE tripped over the power cable and dropped MY laptop to the ground.

I suppose I, er, the author's husband, was just trying to up the ante this time.

The Daring One said...

I dig YOUR theory Ellie.

Daring Young Dad said...

Hahahahaha... this is a fun story. I'm glad it still works. Sorry the cuteness was lost.

Pops said...

Okay, when you all get a little older you will realize that wrinkles and scars on people are a badge of honor (usually), and so dents and scratches ought to be also for an iPod.

elliespen said...

Oh, I absolutely don't mind wrinkles and scars on people. I like how they add character and make for good story telling later. Like my dad, who has scars from every accident imaginable ("This is where I fell down the stairs and broke my jaw, this is where I fell of the roof and broke my arm, this is where my friend crashed the truck into a tree right where my hand was sticking out of the window, etc.").

It's only with my technical gadgets that I'm that shallow. Or maybe I'm slightly jealous that I didn't get to see the experiment myself, only the results. If I'd thrown the iPod myself I may not have minded so much. :)

CarpeDM said...

I'm sorry but this made me laugh so much. But I totally understand. I lent my roommate my mini and he took the fun protective cover off of it. I found it in his room. I suppose purple isn't really a manly color when he's working out at the gym but still - it makes the mini so much cuter.