Dear Santa.

Dear Santa,

Remember last year?

Well, I just wanted to thank you for the iPod touch you sent me.

It's sure come in handy since the other gift I asked for arrived. (I forgot to mention last year that one of the perks of the iPod is that you only need one hand to use it. Same with my Kindle, even though Shallow Man, rather than you, gave that to me for our anniversary/law school graduation/Mother's Day.)

So, since I got everything on my list, I really don't have anything I want to ask you for this Christmas (at least not for myself. But I trust you'll bring something special for the Little Guy).

But don't worry, I'll still leave out milk and cookies for you. The way I figure it, the way you came through this year, you've definitely earned them.

Respectfully and very gratefully yours, & cetera.




P.S. Oh, also? Remember how I mentioned how a firstborn child was a great gift idea because you could use it for bartering?

Well, after careful consideration of the firstborn son now sleeping on my lap, I take it back.

I wouldn't trade him for anything.

AHA! or, It's been awhile.

It's been a little while since we've talked about an important subject:

Now that Pluto may have regained its status as the largest object in the outer solar system, should astronomers consider giving it back another former title — that of full-fledged planet?

Pluto was demoted to a newly created category, "dwarf planet," in 2006, partly because of the discovery a year earlier of Eris, another icy body from Pluto's neighborhood. Eris was thought to be bigger than Pluto until Nov. 6, when astronomers got a chance to recalculate Eris' size.

Now it appears that Pluto reigns — though only by the slimmest of margins (the numbers are so close as to be nearly indistinguishable, when uncertainties are taken into account).

This came up in the news last week but I didn't get a chance to blog about it because I was busy making Thanksgiving preparations (yeah, can we just take a moment to remember how much I love Thanksgiving? *contented sigh*).

But the time has come, my friends, for me to address this issue. And what I say is:

I TOLD YOU SO.

I'm glad that some experts are on board with this:

"If you take the IAU's definition strictly, no object in the solar system is a planet," said Alan Stern, a planetary scientist at the Southwest Research Institute in Boulder, Colo. "No object in the solar system has entirely cleared its zone."

The definition also sets different standards for planethood at different distances from the sun, according to Stern, who is principal investigator of NASA's New Horizons mission, which is sending a spacecraft to Pluto.

The farther away a planet is from the sun, the bigger it needs to be in order to clear its zone. If Earth circled the sun in Uranus' orbit, it wouldn't be able to clean out its neighborhood and would thus not qualify as a planet, Stern said.

"It's literally laughable," he told SPACE.com.

In Stern's view, a planet is anything that meets the IAU definition's first two criteria — the bits about orbiting the sun and having enough mass to be roughly spherical, without the "clearing your neighborhood" requirement.

So Pluto should be a planet, as should Eris and the dwarf planet Ceres (the largest body in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter), as well as many other objects.

You all know my opinion on this. Let's give some love to Pluto.



Seriously, IAU, what's with the discrimination here?

Insert contented sigh here.

How I spent Black Friday:

*Slept in (thanks, Little Guy, for helping out with that).

*Ate leftover pie for breakfast.

*Stayed in my jammies until 11:00 a.m.

*Watched Psych.

*Ate leftover turkey and more pie.

*Read.

*Took a nap.

*Snuggled with my baby.

*Had a movie night with good friends.

*Did a wee bit of shopping online without having to deal with crowds or the cold.

And that is how Black Friday should be done.



Day 26 down. Nearly done!

Happy Thanksgiving, folks!

Happy Thanksgiving!

We're heading off for a delicious Thanksgiving celebration with family, so I'll just leave you with this family favorite:



The yams did it!



Here's hoping you all enjoy day 25 as much as I plan to!

My favorite holiday.

I love Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday. It has all the good food and relatives gathering and crisp weather and good cheer of Christmas, but doesn't involve as much stress or shopping. (I dislike shopping, unless it involves unlimited resources and lots of books.)

KEY, when I told her this, challenged my assertion that Thanksgiving is less stressful than Christmas. I told her that meant she was doing Thanksgiving wrong. (Don't worry; our friendship is awesome enough that we can tell each other things like that and not get upset. Unless it's about James Joyce. . . .)*

The key to Thanksgiving is delegation. It should be like a very, very organized potluck. Everyone has an assignment and everyone brings that item to dinner. If only one person is in charge of all the shopping and cooking for everyone else, of course that's going to be too much stress for them. If you show up to a Thanksgiving dinner that someone else cooked and you haven't contributed to at all, you haven't really joined in the point of the holiday. You might be grateful for their efforts but you haven't made yourself a full part of the communal Thanksgiving experience. Everyone cooks; everyone shares. That's how Thanksgiving should be, at least in my opinion.

One of my favorite aspects of Thanksgiving is Pie. Pie, pie and more pie.

Oh, and pie.

Which I actually need to go make now. So I will leave you with these two awesome pie-related things:


Pushing Daisies. If you haven't seen any episodes of this delightful (and, unfortunately, now-cancelled) TV show, do yourself a favor and introduce yourself to Ned (the Piemaker, who has a special power), Chuck (his alive-again sweetheart), Emerson Cod (a private investigator who knits to calm his nerves), Olive Snook (the waitress who loves Ned unrequitedly), Aunts Lily and Vivian (retired synchronized swimming duo with agoraphobic tendencies and a proclivity for waving around shotguns, at least in Lily's case), and Digby (an alive-again dog). You won't be sorry. As Ned says, "Pie is home. People always come home."



I've always liked this particular Wondermark.

Now go forth, eat pie, be thankful, and take looooong afternoon naps.




*Love you, KEY! Even if I don't love Jimmy like you do. ;)

Day 24 and I'm posting in the middle of the afternoon, yo! How's that for being on top of things!

Remember, Remember...; or, A Memory.

So . . . Happy Guy Fawkes Day! I actually remembered it before midnight this year. Actually, I remembered it before three in the afternoon, which I think is making great progress.

All together now:

Remember, remember,
The fifth of November
Gunpowder treason and plot;
We see no reason
Why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

Yeah, I have a confession.

I don't really actually care about Guy Fawkes Day. Not like I care about other not-really holidays, like International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

I just like to point it out every year because it reminds me of the first time I heard of Guy Fawkes Day.

Which wasn't on Guy Fawkes Day. At least, I don't think it was. At any rate, it might have been, but if it was, I didn't know it at the time and it was purely coincidental and actually has NOTHING to do with the story I am trying to tell but keep getting sidetracked from telling.

ANYWAY.

Do you remember book orders in elementary school? (YES THIS IS IMPORTANT. I am laying a foundation here, like Prof. Goldsmith would want me to do.)

(We just watched an episode of Psych in which he was in court and NO FOUNDATION was laid for anything whatsoever but the judge for some reason kept allowing stuff. That's what made me think of foundation laying. Sorry. Tangent over.)

I loved book orders. I loved getting those fliers made out of the flimsy newsprint type paper with the pictures and the blurbs and the little red-ribbon labels for the Newberry winners. I loved turning to the last page and reading down the full list of titles and then trying to find each of them in the flier, like a little game of hide and seek.

I also loved filling out the order form (Confession [and apology for yet another tangent]: I like filling out forms. Especially when it's a little stack of forms on top of each other, making it all cushiony when I fill in the blanks with a black ball-point pen. Yeah, I know I'm odd.) and cutting it out and putting it in a little envelope with the money for my order (although I always wished that it didn't ruin the rest of the flier; it was harder to re-read later if some of the entries from the other side of the form were half-cut-out and missing) (see above comment re: I know I'm odd).

Most of all I loved the day that the actual books from book orders came and the parent volunteer in charge of coordinating book orders for that year would come hand out the stacks of books and put them on the desks of their respective order-ers. And then the new book smell coming from the stack, and the anticipation. Which book would I read first? What new words and stories would I discover in these pages? Would I be able to avoid getting any papercuts from this stack of awesome on my desk?

One time I ordered a collection of short stories by Agatha Christie featuring a funny little Belgian detective. The book was called Murder in the Mews, had an oh-so-pretty cream-and-purple-and-dark-green cover with an attractive art deco design with the silhouette in red of a man with a bowler hat and a cane, and was my first introduction to M. Hercule Poirot. (I shortly thereafter made the connection that this detective was also on TV on Masterpiece Mystery. Gotta love PBS.)

I pretty much devoured the book but my favorite story was the titular case. I'm not sure why. I just really liked it. (Maybe it had something to do with the name of one of the key characters: Miss Jane Plenderleith. How could you not fall in love with such a story?)

And this story opened with Hercule Poirot and Inspector Japp walking home one evening and remarking that it would be a great night for a murder because no one would hear the sound of a shot.

Why? Because of all the fireworks going off for Guy Fawkes day.

For your benefit, here is the passage from which I gleaned my knowledge of this day.

"Rank excuse for begging, that's what Guy Fawkes day is!" said Japp.

"An interesting survival," mused Hercule Poirot. "The fireworks go up—crack—crack—long after the man they commemorate and his deed are forgotten."

The Scotland Yard man agreed.

"Don't suppose many of those kids really know who Guy Fawkes was."

"And soon doubtless there will be confusion of thought. Is it in honor or in execration that on the 5th of November the feu d'artifice are sent up? To blow up an English parliament, was it a sin or a noble deed?"

Japp chuckled.

"Some people would say undoubtedly the latter."

So, penny for the guy?

(Yeah, you were worried I wouldn't ever get back to my original point, weren't you? I totally showed you!)

(Also, happy 5th NaBlo post! Which, I think, is a much more exciting event to commemorate.)

Merry, merry!

Happy Christmahannakwanzaadanstice to all!

As my gift to you, I present the following, which, although it has definite Christian overtones, is non-denominational in its hilarity.




Now get off the internet and go celebrate!

An update, because I promised.

Well, I refused to take any guff from that take-home final.

I gave my final project what-for.

And I took my final paper out into the back field and beat it severely, like that scene with the printer in Office Space.

Yeah, this is what I did to my finals:



And now they're dead done. And I slept in today until 1:00 and I'm writing this in my pajamas and I'M NOT SORRY. In fact, this is the best I've felt since school started in August. So join me in a great sigh of contentment: *ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.*


And now, less than a week before Christmas, I finally have time to put up the tree. I'm looking forward to next December when I will actually be able to start the Christmas festivities at the beginning of the month, rather than three weeks in.

Bartering; or, What I Really Want for Christmas

Dear Santa,

I know I haven't written to you in a long time but this year I really, really want something, and I was hoping you could put in a good word for me.

I know, I know, when people ask me what I want for Christmas I usually tell them I want an iPod touch, or a copy of My Fair Lady, or Lego Rock Band or maybe even just a pair of fuzzy socks. Because you know how I love my fuzzy socks.

But that's not really what's at the top of my Christmas list this year.

Santa, this year I would like a firstborn child. I know it's a huge responsibility. But I'd take care of it myself. (Shallow Man would help.) And it's not just a toy, either. It's incredibly versatile. You can trade it in or sign it away for just about anything.

Or so I'm told. Because right now all I've got to barter with is that old standby, the pint of blood. Which is great and all, but I think I'd like to upgrade.

See, a lot of my friends have one. Some of them even have second-borns, you know, like as a back-up. And I want to be one of the cool kids. You know, because everybody's doing it.

I know some people might just ask for a positive pregnancy test, but I'm asking for the end product right now. Just to be safe. Because I had a whole bunch of positive tests back in May which say I should have 8/9ths of a firstborn right now. But apparently there was a recall on that particular model last July (and the same thing happened back in 2007 as well, if you remember), and I'd just rather not go through that again.

If you decide to give me an iPod touch as well, I won't complain, because it would be nice to have some tunes to listen to during all those sleepless nights, or at least to have one thing that will stop making noise at the time I designate, and where the only part that involves "changing" would be batteries.

But I'd rather have the firstborn child, if it's all the same to you. Heck, I'll even offer you a pint of blood and a . . . well, make that two pints of blood.

Respectfully and very hopefully yours, etc.

Quick Thought

So I'm watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (woot!) and one of the performing acts is announced as "Boys Like Girls."

And I've just gotta ask...

Is that a verb or a preposition?

Because inquiring minds want to know.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go eat a staggering amount of good food. Trytophan, here I come!

A year of AWESOME!

Once again I can't believe that it's almost the end of the year. Which makes me think back over the year and what I've done. Which mostly adds up to a whole lotta law reading, which I don't feel accurately encompasses the spirit of the year, which was, overall, awesome, and full of awesome things. Here, in no particular order, are several of the awesome things I discovered and/or did this year:

*Geek-out night. Wow. As many as 11 people, three TVs, two couches, one giant LoveSac, five game systems, tons of controllers and many many nerdular games all packed into our living/dining room. Best. Idea. Ever.
*Katamari. And again I say, Katamari. When I tell you that, with all the above paraphernalia available, most of the time we all just sat around watching in fascination as someone played Katamari, you'll begin to understand the sheer awesomeness thereof.
*The fact that we went out and got a PS2 within a few days after the first Geek-out night just so we could play Katamari.
*Duck Hunt. Yeah, I'd never played it before. Which is how Geek-out night got started.
*The Smiths. I can't believe we spent so much time in the same ward, not to mention all the law classes with Maret, before we all realized that we should be spending more time together.
*The Newells. See the above comment except for the part about being in the same ward.
*Also the Shills. Even though we already sort of knew you before.
*Arrested Development. Thanks, the Smiths. You have truly enriched our lives.
*Gilmore Girls. I can't believe I hadn't watched this show before -- I never knew just what a barren wasteland my life was until I was introduced to them in September by the amazing KEY.
*KEY. Wow. We're the same person. See above re: barren wasteland.
*The accordion player at Ottavio's.
*As always, Facebook.
*Many blogs, but especially Cake Wrecks and Seriously, So Blessed.
*Skype.
*Wall-E, The Dark Knight, Iron Man, and many other pretty cool movies I saw.
*Sitting outside at late-thirty with Kat, my cousins, and assorted sisters for the Breaking Dawn release. Yes; yes, I am a nerd.
*Kansas. Okay, not really as awesome as I might have hoped. But throw in Oklahoma, the wedding of Margo, her awesome family and also awesome now-husband, plus many, many, many hours of Kat-time = tres awesome. As in, three. Or very. (Yeah, I can speak a couple of extra languages. Can't you?)
*Cleanth and Trilling.
*Leopard. Ahhhh.
*Rooming with Ameeanne while Shallow Man was out of the country.
*So You Think You Can Dance: Season four.
*So You Think You Can Dance: The TOUR! See commentary above under Breaking Dawn. (I am approximately 13 years old. But at least I don't think Stephenie Meyer deserves a Nobel Literature prize, right?)
*Speaking of which, an increased familiarity with the Nobel Literature Laureates. And their photos. Seriously awesome. (Watch out for Lagerkvist-less Pars.)
*The Dutiful Existentialists.
*Campfires in Provo Canyon with the Hardmans.
*Redoing the backyard. And actually having flowers. And actually having said flowers live and bloom and FLOWER until the frost came and killed them all.
*Muse. Thank you, Kat, for your invaluable assistance in selecting some great CDs.
*Ingrid Michaelson. Thank you, KEY, for your invaluable assistance in selecting a great CD.
*IKEA. Several times.
*Three crazy primary kids. Class was many things, but never boring.
*The Best Day EVER.
*Professor Wood and his Muslim hat. Also his French and German hats and, occasionally, his Common Law hat. Even if he only brought his second- or third-rate mind in with them to show to the third- and fourth-rate minds in the class.
*Peach Pie ice cream.
*Peach Pie accompanied by ice cream.
*Interviewing in jeans.
*Trademark and patent law. Mostly this is awesome when you take into account the fact that I was an English major.
*Bocci with cats.
*Watching the two nephews get bigger and cuter and laugh/chortle a whole lot more.
*Smithsonian magazine. The problem is that now I have a whole lot of organizations sending me address labels with vaguely threatening (or at least calculated-to-induce-guilt) statements: "As you use these labels, think of the poor starving legless children in Ydgosriztsilaviastan and HOW THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE MONEY FOR ENVELOPES SO YOU NEED TO SEND THEM MONEY IN AN ENVELOPE WITH ONE OF THESE ADDRESS LABELS NOOOOOOWWWWW OR YOU WILL BURN!!!!! Because only a truly selfish person would use these address labels for non-money-containing post not destined for the poor starving legless children in Ydgosriztsilaviastan."
*Miter boxes. If that's how you spell that.
*Peru. Wait, no. I didn't do that one. But I did do Park City, which has to count for something, right?
*Chalice. Beautiful.
*Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog.
*Anything prepared by any member of the Smith household.
*Also stuffed mushrooms a la Newell.
*"YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" (Which, really, why were we the only ones who took the '80s part of it seriously?)
*The fact that I can, in fact, hold down two jobs, several classes, a Primary class, and a newly-found Arrested Development/Gilmore Girls/Katamari addiction at the same time and still get at least 6 hours of sleep a night, and sometimes more.
*Rich, Tess, and Jake. Also Dexter and Chris. And even Calla. And a few others I won't mention by name, but they know who they are.
*Tiffany's. (Thanks again, hon!)
*My new haircut.
*The Christmas tree skirt.
*My blog readership appears to have increased to maybe even as many as 11.
*A quarter of a century. Makes a girl think.

And last but not least, Keepon. Keep on dancing, little guy. You inspire us all.

Here's hoping your 2008 was also awesome. I can't wait to see how 2009 tops it (although Wicked tickets certainly aren't going to hurt -- thanks again, Liz; also an upcoming 5-year anniversary).

Much love to you all, and a very Happy New Year!


If for some reason you are an awesome person and I know you and didn't mention you on the list, I apologize. You are hereby included in this residuary clause.

Want.

So Daring Young Mom is doing a giveaway. And I would really like to win.

So I'm posting about it here to get an extra entry. And I suppose also to spread the new-found joy that is Keen.

But if one of my seven readers goes and wins DYM's giveaway after seeing it here, I get 10%.

And now, because, realistically speaking, I won't get another chance to post before Thursday, I would like to wish all of my readers (yes, even you crazy lurkers who sneak around stealthily) a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Now go forth and eat much turkey!

Yarrrr! It do be that time o' year...

I do apologize to all o' ye fer not gettin' this up arrrlier but I did be lootin' an' pillagin' all marnin'.

But now that yer cap'n is here, ye best step lively, swab the decks and give out yer best "Arrrrrr!" for 'tis the day o' days, the time all stout-hearted hearties have been awaitin' since 19th o' September last. Aye, it do be...

International Talk Like a Pirate Day!




Now shout "Avast!" and spread the pirate cheer, fer it's all hands on deck or I'll cleave ye to the brisket, ye scurvy lubbers!

Cap'n Ethel Bonney
o' the pirate ship
The Fearful Curse

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all (maybe) seven of my readers! (And anyone who may be reading that I don't know about.)

I'll post the stories from the rest of finals after the holiday.

Happy Holidays!
(And happy Christmahannakwanzaadanstice, too.)

Resolutions

So I was going to resolve to be a bit more consistent about posting on my blog, once all the crazy Christmas rush was done. (Christmas in retail, oh joy!) And I really was going to do it.

Only once all the crazy Christmas rush was done, it started catching up to me.

By the time Resolutions Day rolled around I was battling the cold of the century (my immune system apparently having made its own resolution to cut back on the hard work and spend more time with the fam'), and it's still anybody's guess as to who's going to win this one. The Cold is gaining ground as I am rapidly running out of tissues. But I am valiantly beating it back by drowning it in orange juice, so it may all turn out okay in the end. Until I run out of oj, that is...

At any rate, since I missed the holiday season, I'd just like to wish you all a belated happy Christmahannakwanzaadanstice, as my sisters would say. (We really overlook the Druids this time of year. I'm sure they wouldn't mind it if we wished them a Happy Winter Solstice now and again.)

Freaking Druids. They're everywhere...