But Mother, I don't WANT to edit an article about civil liability!

(said in my best Wendy voice)

Argh.

I have two or three great posts I want to write up for the blog but I can't because I'm supposed to be editing an article for the law journal.

I don't LIKE editing articles for the law journal. First off, I don't think it's the editor's (namely, my) job to write your thesis sentence, roadmaps, arguments and footnotes for you if you couldn't do it yourself. Is this the way it works for all journals? Because with my limited experience in publishing, it seems like editors usually give the author ideas, suggestions and feedback about what work needs to be done and then make her do it herself. (And why is our journal accepting articles that have no discernible theses to begin with? Who knows.)

The point is, there are so many more interesting and useful things I'd like to be doing. Cleaning off the kitchen desk. Baking bread. Exercising while catching up on Gilmore Girls. Playing old-school video games. Blogging.

Come on, people! Don't you understand? There are cupcakes to decorate (a new-found love), scarves to knit (because I'm totally going to teach myself to do that now), hats to crochet, old blogs to read, new blogs to discover, recipes to try, offices to organize, houses to redecorate, numbers to paint by, and OH MY GOODNESS books to read.

SO. MANY. BOOKS. (Some of them written by highly attractive Welshmen.)

FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, THERE ARE BOOKS TO BE READ!!!!

And, unfortunately, at least one article on civil liability for misstatements in offer documents (yeah, you read that right) to edit.

With attendant threats of demerits if someone doesn't get it done in time. (Really, people? Demerits? Really?? Are we not past the elementary school stage yet?)

So the books by gorgeous Welshmen will have to wait.

And so will you, because my more interesting posts will not get written tonight.

And I ask myself . . .

Why is it, do you think, that smoke detector batteries only die, thus causing the smoke detector to beep periodically until you unplug it, between the hours of three and five in the morning? Why is it always during the hours where you are most likely to be in deep sleep mode, causing you to wake up to a beeping alarm in a state of intense confusion and grogginess, leading to disorganized panic? Why can't they ever die at, say, 6:20 p.m.? Hmmm?

The sad thing is, this happened very early Saturday morning and my sleep schedule STILL isn't back on track yet. Grrr!

An orphan, but not often.

I am sitting at a desk in my sister's old room in my parents' house as I write this. I'm camping out here overnight even though my parents and sisters are out of town, since Shallow Man is flying back into town on an 11:35 p.m. flight and who wants to drive another hour to get home at that point in time?

Not me!

I've been an orphan for the last few days while Shallow Man was out of town, and feeling a bit neglected because my sister pointed out that none of my family loves me. Well, not in so many words. What she SAID was, "Did you know you're the only family member who's not going on vacation this weekend?"

Yeah, they've all abandoned me. Shallow Man was in DC for an interview (and coming back late tonight as aforementioned), the parents and my two younger sisters are at Mount Rushmore (hence the empty house), my brother and his wife and son went camping, and my other sister and her husband and son are visiting her in-laws.

And I'm here (i.e., not on vacation).

I ask you, where's the love?

Oh, well. At least I have the house to myself, and I only promised not to burn anything important...

Free stuff for you, part the second.

OH. And speaking of free stuff, there are still two spots left from the other post. I'm doing this not so much as a what-the-heck-let's-DO-this-meme thing but as a give-myself-something-constructive-to-do-with-my-free-time-over-the-summer-so-I'm-not-left-to-my-own-devices-because-we-all-know-that-can-only-end-in-tears thing.

So please, please, can't at least two more of you find it in the goodness of your hearts to comment on that other post and get the free stuff?

You don't actually have to sign up to do it on your own blog (although you can if you want, or even in lower numbers, like just doing it for one or two people). I'll never check on you. You can feel good about yourself by helping save me from myself AND.... you get something awesome from me. And we all know how cool I am.

Right, guys? Right?

I really can't believe how hard I'm having to push this. Doesn't anyone like getting free stuff anymore?


(If for some strange and miraculous reason more than five people end up commenting I'll see what I can do for some of the rest of you but I can't make any guarantees. I have a lot of extra unscheduled mischief to be getting into, after all. )