Let this be a lesson to you all:
If you're trying to sell your house to Shallow Man and me, don't get greedy. This will only force us to get firm with you.
At this point we're considering how best to show our utter contempt for their current counteroffer (when the appraisal came in lower than their initial ridiculous counteroffer, what a surprise!). We've been fairly patient and more than reasonable up to this point, especially in making our offers. We were hoping they'd decided to be adults about this but apparently that's not the case. *Sigh.*
We're considering asking that they include a pony and install a small -- but serviceable -- bowling alley in the crawl space prior to closing in our counter-counteroffer. Including, of course, a note in the addendum that we like a good joke as much as they do. This will be no less of a joke than their current offer to us and makes for a much better story later on all sides. Hopefully it would also get the message out to them that we only entertain serious and reasonable counteroffers, not insults.
Unfortunately, our innate sense of professionalism (don't laugh so hard; I don't want any of my maybe-six-or-seven readers to choke and die -- there are few enough of you as it is) will probably win out and we'll end up leaving the pony out. Which is just as well, since I don't know where we'd put it -- what with the babies on the way we're probably going to need all the room for other things anyway.
*Sigh* again. What I put up with to stop paying rent.